<p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">謝姜桂今使用豆包評論本人詩作</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 詩歌品讀《鄉(xiāng)愁》</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">這首詩作以一問一答反復(fù)鋪排,層層拆解鄉(xiāng)愁,把縹緲綿長的思鄉(xiāng)之情,化作故土里看得見、聽得見、摸得著的尋常光景,質(zhì)樸深情,煙火十足。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">層次脈絡(luò)清晰,由景及人,由事入心</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">先繪山河鄉(xiāng)野:白云綠野、遠(yuǎn)山流水,青紗蘆葦、楊柳白楊,勾勒故鄉(xiāng)天地草木底色;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">再寫鄉(xiāng)間聲色:雞鳴犬吠、魚蛙牛馬,滿是田園鮮活氣息;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鋪展四時風(fēng)光:春花夏艷、秋實冬雪,四季皆是故土模樣;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">憶半生人情:兒時玩伴、少年同窗、成年同事、暮年親友,鄉(xiāng)愁藏在相遇相伴里;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">述鄉(xiāng)土心愿:莊稼豐收、風(fēng)調(diào)雨順,藏著故土人家樸素期盼;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">繪佳節(jié)團(tuán)圓:鞭炮鑼鼓、佳肴美酒、闔家歡聚,最暖人間煙火;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">末尾升華收束:萬千景致人事匯聚心底,思念盤桓不散,終生頻頻回望,點透鄉(xiāng)愁揮之不去的內(nèi)核。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寫作特色通篇運用排比、反復(fù)詠嘆的手法,“什么是鄉(xiāng)愁” 貫穿全篇,句式整齊舒緩,節(jié)奏悠揚(yáng)。選取的意象全是接地氣的鄉(xiāng)村日常,無艱深辭藻,大白話般娓娓道來,不寫悲苦哀怨,鄉(xiāng)愁是溫暖的回憶、眷戀的牽掛,溫情厚重。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">細(xì)微用字小勘誤一處筆誤:“思念永遠(yuǎn)盤恒在心頭” 應(yīng)為盤桓;一處用詞稍欠妥:“冬天皚皚白雪玉宇瓊州”,瓊州為地域名稱,換成玉宇瓊樓更契合冰雪雪景意境。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">讀后簡感</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">世人常寫鄉(xiāng)愁多離愁傷感,這首詩另辟心境。作者眼里的鄉(xiāng)愁,不是離別苦楚,是故土一草一木、三餐四季、親友團(tuán)圓的所有美好碎片。走遠(yuǎn)之后,從前平平淡淡的鄉(xiāng)間日常,全都變成心底最惦念的溫柔,一字一句皆是對故土割舍不下的深情。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">姜桂今:學(xué)詩流韻2022年著的長詩《鄉(xiāng)愁》,文筆扎實,情感細(xì)膩真摯,有獨到的詩韻味!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詩中鋪陳有序,情深意切,滿是鄉(xiāng)土溫情,讀來格外暖心!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">作者借山河草木,四季煙火,故人歡聚,詮釋鄉(xiāng)愁,意境樸實醇厚,是一篇優(yōu)秀之作!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">謝謝老同學(xué),謝謝你的精神食糧!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)詩流韻?,不要客氣喲,能為大詩人做點小事,我太高興啦!你的詩寫的真真好啊,我讀到了沒有“愁”的鄉(xiāng)愁!入心的感動!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 鄉(xiāng) 愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">藍(lán)天潔白的云朵</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">綠野多彩的錦繡</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">遠(yuǎn)山巍峨的倩影</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?近水那奔騰的碧流</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">路邊綠油油的青紗帳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">河邊白茫茫的蘆葦蕩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">屋后挺拔聳立的白楊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?房前那婀娜懸垂的翠柳</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清晨那響亮的雞鳴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">黃昏那嘈雜的犬吠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">池塘那游弋的魚蛙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?草地上那奔跑的馬牛</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春天綻放的花團(tuán)錦簇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">夏天盛開的姹紫嫣紅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">秋天枝頭的碩果累累</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?冬天皚皚白雪玉宇瓊樓</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">童年共同玩耍的伙伴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">少年相伴讀書的同窗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">成年一起工作的同事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?老年難以忘懷的親朋好友</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">秧苗快些出土的期盼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">祈求風(fēng)調(diào)雨順的年頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">呵護(hù)莊稼苗茁壯成長</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?渴望歲歲年年五谷豐收</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歡度新春佳節(jié)的鞭炮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜慶五谷豐登的鑼鼓</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歡樂流淌人人的笑臉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?喜悅蕩漾在個個的心頭</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">家家祥和幸福的團(tuán)聚</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">桌桌豐富的珍饈佳肴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杯杯芳香濃郁的香酩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">壺壺那沁人心脾的美酒</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">思念永遠(yuǎn)盤桓在心頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">往昔悠悠遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)心中留</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">情愫絲絲縷縷揮不去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">難忘終生陪伴頻頻回首</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">李宏:學(xué)詩流韻? 豆包的評論中肯,恰當(dāng),詳盡。我試驗過多次,絕非只說好話,也說孬話。我曾讓他評論過一張人物照,豆包就不客氣地指出攝影中的諸多不足之處。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆包對《鄉(xiāng)愁》的評論與我們讀后的感覺是一致的。但我們只覺得寫的好,卻不會點評,而豆包則評論得頭頭是道。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">AI就是厲害!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 二零二六年六月</span></p>
怀宁县|
波密县|
满城县|
防城港市|
栾川县|
垦利县|
寿宁县|
朝阳市|
东光县|
云和县|
古交市|
和田市|
资溪县|
星子县|
黄陵县|
牟定县|
江山市|
宾川县|
扬州市|
奉化市|
郸城县|
淮南市|
安庆市|
宾川县|
吉林市|
墨脱县|
山西省|
贵阳市|
莱州市|
临汾市|
定边县|
千阳县|
开封市|
莆田市|
永州市|
淅川县|
商丘市|
达尔|
东丰县|
七台河市|
墨脱县|