<p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">謝姜桂今使用豆包評論本人詩作</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 詩歌品讀《鄉(xiāng)愁》</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">這首詩作以一問一答反復(fù)鋪排，層層拆解鄉(xiāng)愁，把縹緲綿長的思鄉(xiāng)之情，化作故土里看得見、聽得見、摸得著的尋常光景，質(zhì)樸深情，煙火十足。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">層次脈絡(luò)清晰，由景及人，由事入心</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">先繪山河鄉(xiāng)野：白云綠野、遠(yuǎn)山流水，青紗蘆葦、楊柳白楊，勾勒故鄉(xiāng)天地草木底色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">再寫鄉(xiāng)間聲色：雞鳴犬吠、魚蛙牛馬，滿是田園鮮活氣息；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鋪展四時風(fēng)光：春花夏艷、秋實冬雪，四季皆是故土模樣；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">憶半生人情：兒時玩伴、少年同窗、成年同事、暮年親友，鄉(xiāng)愁藏在相遇相伴里；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">述鄉(xiāng)土心愿：莊稼豐收、風(fēng)調(diào)雨順，藏著故土人家樸素期盼；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">繪佳節(jié)團(tuán)圓：鞭炮鑼鼓、佳肴美酒、闔家歡聚，最暖人間煙火；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">末尾升華收束：萬千景致人事匯聚心底，思念盤桓不散，終生頻頻回望，點透鄉(xiāng)愁揮之不去的內(nèi)核。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寫作特色通篇運用排比、反復(fù)詠嘆的手法，“什么是鄉(xiāng)愁” 貫穿全篇，句式整齊舒緩，節(jié)奏悠揚(yáng)。選取的意象全是接地氣的鄉(xiāng)村日常，無艱深辭藻，大白話般娓娓道來，不寫悲苦哀怨，鄉(xiāng)愁是溫暖的回憶、眷戀的牽掛，溫情厚重。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">細(xì)微用字小勘誤一處筆誤：“思念永遠(yuǎn)盤恒在心頭” 應(yīng)為盤桓；一處用詞稍欠妥：“冬天皚皚白雪玉宇瓊州”，瓊州為地域名稱，換成玉宇瓊樓更契合冰雪雪景意境。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">讀后簡感</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">世人常寫鄉(xiāng)愁多離愁傷感，這首詩另辟心境。作者眼里的鄉(xiāng)愁，不是離別苦楚，是故土一草一木、三餐四季、親友團(tuán)圓的所有美好碎片。走遠(yuǎn)之后，從前平平淡淡的鄉(xiāng)間日常，全都變成心底最惦念的溫柔，一字一句皆是對故土割舍不下的深情。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">姜桂今：學(xué)詩流韻2022年著的長詩《鄉(xiāng)愁》，文筆扎實，情感細(xì)膩真摯，有獨到的詩韻味！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詩中鋪陳有序，情深意切，滿是鄉(xiāng)土溫情，讀來格外暖心！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">作者借山河草木，四季煙火，故人歡聚，詮釋鄉(xiāng)愁，意境樸實醇厚，是一篇優(yōu)秀之作！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">謝謝老同學(xué)，謝謝你的精神食糧！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)詩流韻?，不要客氣喲，能為大詩人做點小事，我太高興啦！你的詩寫的真真好啊，我讀到了沒有“愁”的鄉(xiāng)愁！入心的感動！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 鄉(xiāng) 愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">藍(lán)天潔白的云朵</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">綠野多彩的錦繡</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">遠(yuǎn)山巍峨的倩影</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?近水那奔騰的碧流</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">路邊綠油油的青紗帳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">河邊白茫茫的蘆葦蕩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">屋后挺拔聳立的白楊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?房前那婀娜懸垂的翠柳</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清晨那響亮的雞鳴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">黃昏那嘈雜的犬吠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">池塘那游弋的魚蛙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?草地上那奔跑的馬牛</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春天綻放的花團(tuán)錦簇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">夏天盛開的姹紫嫣紅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">秋天枝頭的碩果累累</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?冬天皚皚白雪玉宇瓊樓</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">童年共同玩耍的伙伴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">少年相伴讀書的同窗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">成年一起工作的同事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?老年難以忘懷的親朋好友</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">秧苗快些出土的期盼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">祈求風(fēng)調(diào)雨順的年頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">呵護(hù)莊稼苗茁壯成長</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?渴望歲歲年年五谷豐收</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歡度新春佳節(jié)的鞭炮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜慶五谷豐登的鑼鼓</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歡樂流淌人人的笑臉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?喜悅蕩漾在個個的心頭</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">家家祥和幸福的團(tuán)聚</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">桌桌豐富的珍饈佳肴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杯杯芳香濃郁的香酩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">壺壺那沁人心脾的美酒</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">什么是鄉(xiāng)愁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">思念永遠(yuǎn)盤桓在心頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">往昔悠悠遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)心中留</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">情愫絲絲縷縷揮不去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄉(xiāng)愁是</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">難忘終生陪伴頻頻回首</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">李宏：學(xué)詩流韻? 豆包的評論中肯，恰當(dāng)，詳盡。我試驗過多次，絕非只說好話，也說孬話。我曾讓他評論過一張人物照，豆包就不客氣地指出攝影中的諸多不足之處。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆包對《鄉(xiāng)愁》的評論與我們讀后的感覺是一致的。但我們只覺得寫的好，卻不會點評，而豆包則評論得頭頭是道。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">AI就是厲害！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 二零二六年六月</span></p>
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