Thank you 謝謝你

桂枝

今天是4月23日世界讀書日：希望散居在世界各地的人，無論你是年老還是年輕，無論你是貧窮還是富裕，無論你是患病還是健康，都能享受閱讀的樂趣。最近看到一篇演講“Remember to say thank you”記得說“謝謝”。在世界讀書日：我把這篇‘謝謝你’送給我生活中每一個人。感謝你們，因有你們，我的生活才豐富精彩。尤其送給那個女士，在我做防疫義工時給我“謝謝”鼓勵。 在3月31日收到深圳長青老年大學老師給我信息，讓我寫寫關于做防疫義工的感想等?！x謝’這二個詞，是我最近做防疫義工常用的和常聽到的。我謝謝遵守秩序和配合的居民，居民對防疫義工一聲謝謝。讓我感受最深一次是：有一個和我差不多年齡的女士，排隊快經(jīng)過我面前，朝我鞠一躬并說：感謝你們義工。我當時一愣，等我反應過來，馬上回答：謝謝您。說完，我想流淚，忍住了，這是我得到最高的、最好的贊賞，這也是我體會到“謝謝”包含意義。<div>“謝謝”是相互的付出和回報。</div> Remember to say thank you 記得說“謝謝”<div> </div><div>Hi, I'm here to talk to you about the importance of praise, admiration, thank you, and having it be specific and genuine. 嗨，我在這里要和大家談談向別人表達贊美，欽佩和謝意的重要性，并使它們聽起來真誠，具體。 And the way I got interested in this was, I noticed in myself, when I was growing up, 我之所以對此感興趣是因為我從我自己的成長中注意到， and until about a few years ago, that I would want to say thank you to someone, 幾年前，當我想要對某個人說聲謝謝， I would want to praise them, I would want to take in their praise of me and I'd just stop it. And I asked myself, why? I felt shy, I felt embarrassed. And then my question became, am I the only one who does this? So, I decided to investigate. 當我想要贊美他們，當我想接受他們對我的贊揚，我卻沒有說出口。我問自己，為什么？我覺得害羞，我覺得很尷尬。接著我產(chǎn)生了一個問題，難道我是唯一一個會這樣的人嗎？所以我決定做些調(diào)查。 I'm fortunate enough to work in the rehab facility, 我非常幸運的在一家康復中心工作， so I get to see people who are facing life and death with addiction. And sometimes it comes down to something as simple as, 所以我可以看到那些因為毒癮而直面生與死的人。有時候這一切可以非常簡單地歸結(jié)為， their core wound is their father died without ever saying he's proud of them. But then, they hear from all the family and friends that the father told everybody else that he was proud of him, 他們最核心的創(chuàng)傷來自于他們父親到死都未說過“他為他們而自豪”。但卻從所有其它家庭或朋友那里得知，他們的父親告訴所有人他為他感到自豪， but he never told the son. It's because he didn't know that his son needed to hear it. 但卻從沒告訴過他兒子。因為他不知道他的兒子需要聽到這一切。 So my question is, why don't we ask for the things that we need? 因此我的問題是，為什么我們不要求我們所需要的東西呢？ I know a gentleman, married for 25 years, who's longing to hear his wife say, 我認識一個結(jié)婚25年的男士渴望聽到他妻子說， "Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids," but won't ask. “感謝你為這個家在外賺錢，這樣我才能在家陪伴著孩子，”但他從來沒向妻子提過這件事。 I know a woman who's good at this. She, once a week, meets with her husband and says, 我認識一個女人，她對此很在行。她每周見她丈夫一次，然后說， "I'd really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house and with the kids." “我真的希望你為我對這個家和孩子們付出的努力而感謝我?！?lt;br>And he goes, "Oh, this is great, this is great." 他會應和到“哦，你做的真是太棒了，真是太棒了?！?lt;br>And praise really does have to be genuine, but she takes responsibility for that. And a friend of mine, April, who I've had since kindergarten, she thanks her children for doing their chores. And she said, "Why wouldn't I thank it, even though they're supposed to do it?" 贊揚別人一定要真誠，而她將贊美視為一種責任。艾普爾從我上幼兒園時就一直是我的朋友，她會感謝她的孩子們做了家務。她說：“為什么我不表示感謝呢，即使他們本來就要做那些事情？” So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why were other people blocking it? Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare, I need size six shoes," 因此我的問題是，為什么我不說呢？為什么其它人不說呢？為什么我能說：“我要一塊中等厚度的牛排，我需要6號尺碼的鞋子，” but I won't say, "Would you praise me this way?" 但我卻不能說：“你可以贊揚我嗎？” And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me. I'm telling you where I'm insecure. I'm telling you where I need your help. And I'm treating you, my inner circle, like you're the enemy. Because what can you do with that data? You could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need. 因為這會把我的重要信息泄露給你。會讓你知道我內(nèi)心的不安。會讓你認為我需要你的幫助。雖然你是我最貼心的人，我卻把你當作是敵人。你會用我給你的重要信息做些什么呢？你可以忽視我。你可以濫用它?；蛘吣憧梢詽M足我的要求。 And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same bike, 我把我的自行車拿到車行——我喜歡這么做——同樣的自行車， and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels. 他們會對車輪做整形。 The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to make the bike so much better." 那里的人說：“當你對車輪做整形時，它會使自行車變成更好?！?lt;br>I get the same bike back, and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new. 我把這輛自行車拿回來，他們把我用了兩年半的輪子上的小小彎曲的鐵絲拿走，我的自行車就像新的一樣了。 So, I'm going to challenge all of you. I want you to true your wheels: be honest about the praise that you need to hear. What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife -- go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband -- what does he need? Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you. 所以我要問在場的所有人。我希望你們把你們的車輪整形一下：真誠面對對你們想聽到的贊美。你們想聽到什么呢？回家問問你們的妻子，她想聽到什么？回家問問你們的丈夫，他想聽到什么？回家去問這些問題，并幫助身邊的人實現(xiàn)它們。 And it's simple. And why should we care about this? We talk about world peace. How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages? I think it starts household by household, under the same roof. So, let's make it right in our own backyard. And I want to thank all of you in the audience for being great husbands, great mothers, friends, daughters, sons. 很簡單。我們?yōu)槭裁匆P心這件事呢？我們談論世界和平。我們?nèi)绾尾拍苡貌煌? 文化、不同的語言實現(xiàn)世界和平？我想要從每個小家庭開始。所以讓我們在家里就把這件事情做好。我想要感謝所有在這里的人們，因為你們是好丈夫，好母親，好伙伴，好女兒和好兒子。 And maybe somebody's never said that to you, but you've done a really, really good job. And thank you for being here, just showing up and changing the world with your ideas. 或許有些人從沒跟你們說過，但你們已經(jīng)做得非常非常得出色了。感謝你們來到這里，向世界顯示著你們的智慧，并用它們改變著世界。 Thank you. 謝謝。 </div>

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Thank you 謝謝你

桂枝