<h3>一個(gè)普通家庭的人很難想象的問題：
<font color="#ed2308">當(dāng)家里熟悉的親人患上失智癥
我該如何和他相處？</font>
樊登讀書會(huì)給大家推薦的這本奧地利作家，阿爾諾 蓋格爾寫的書，就和讀者們探討了這樣一個(gè)問題。<br></h3> <h3>作者的父親患上了阿爾茨海默癥，他慢慢喪失了記憶和理智，但依然充滿活力，擁有不失幽默的智慧。他就在家里，可“要回家”的渴望無時(shí)不在。</h3> <h3>作者與父親的日常生活照</h3> <h3><strong style="max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 2px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><font color="#167efb">以下精華內(nèi)容摘選于《流放的老國王》</font></strong><br></h3><h3><strong style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 2px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br></strong></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important;">「我仍然感覺到，眼前這位是我的父親，養(yǎng)育我長大的人；但是越來越多時(shí)刻—特別是晚上—我已無法認(rèn)出昔日的父親?！?lt;/strong></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important;"></h3><h3><strong style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 2px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; word-wrap: break-word !important;"></strong></h3><blockquote style="padding-left: 10px; max-width: 100%; border-left: 3px solid rgb(219, 219, 219); color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); word-wrap: break-word !important;">蓋格形容，失去記憶的父親像個(gè)流放的老國王，迷惘不安地在家中到處游走。他在自己的家中要求回家。歷經(jīng)長時(shí)間的交涉，父親最后乖順穿上睡衣，躺在他已不再認(rèn)得的床上，安慰自己「最重要的是，我有個(gè)地方睡覺」。</span></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important;"></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); word-wrap: break-word !important;">阿諾．蓋格并沒讓整部書沉沒在悲傷和自憐中。他持續(xù)觀察父親、與父親相處，為記憶不再的父親記下他的出生和成長。你記不住的，我用文字幫你記住。他在以書寫為父親造像，也重新創(chuàng)造了父親。</span></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important;"></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); word-wrap: break-word !important;">隨著時(shí)日過去，父親的阿茲海默癥也不再是個(gè)可憎的掠奪者。疾病改變了每個(gè)人。父親用幽默感接受自己因遺忘帶來的無根感，活在一個(gè)沒有過去跟未來的當(dāng)下，且時(shí)常吐出睿智而帶有詩意的句子。似乎病癥取消記憶的同時(shí)，也解散了人使用語言的限制，他記述父親任意改變曲子的歌詞、將「未來」念成「來未」，或是一些他過去漫長人生中不曾說過的雋語或俗諺。</span></h3></blockquote> <h3>米蘭·昆德拉說：我們稱之為生命的那無可回避的潰敗，在它面前，我們唯一能夠做的就是理解它。<br></h3><h3><br></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important;">幾乎每一個(gè)人，無論男女，對自己父親的想象都不準(zhǔn)確，孩子們想象出的形象極少能夠符合實(shí)際的父親的。</strong></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important;"></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;">他們經(jīng)歷過你永遠(yuǎn)都無法完全感同身受的時(shí)代，他們面對過你也許一輩子也無法想象的局面。當(dāng)他披荊斬棘，跨越苦難時(shí)來到你的生命中，你看到的他只不過是一個(gè)平凡世界的平凡人而已。</h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;">你從來都不知道，其實(shí)你的父親是個(gè)超級(jí)英雄。</h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br></h3><blockquote style="padding-left: 10px; max-width: 100%; border-left: 3px solid rgb(219, 219, 219); color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><p style="margin-right: 16px; margin-left: 16px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 15px; word-wrap: break-word !important;">我跌跌撞撞走過陰暗的過道回到廚房，坐下讀那些手記。</span></h3><p style="margin-right: 16px; margin-left: 16px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 15px; word-wrap: break-word !important;">描述的是在戰(zhàn)地軍醫(yī)院的遭遇以及艱難的歸家之路，在回家途中父親總是在找著同鄉(xiāng)，找著說福拉爾貝格方言的人，這樣他才可以向人家討塊面包而看起來不太像乞討。</span></h3><p style="margin-right: 16px; margin-left: 16px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 15px; word-wrap: break-word !important;">父親描寫的事情使我震驚萬分，一方面由于所發(fā)生的事情是那么樣的極端可怕，另一方面是，我忽然有種感覺，雖然我們很努力，對于父親所知還是極少，他從何處來，他的挫敗，他的恐懼，他的愿望，對于這些，我們幾乎一無所知。</span></h3></blockquote><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important;"></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;">阿爾諾很久以后才逐漸明白過來，父親拒絕遠(yuǎn)行，其根本原因在于他心靈所受到的創(chuàng)傷。</h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;">他所有的防護(hù)措施都旨在幫助自己不再陷入險(xiǎn)境。那樣的懷鄉(xiāng)之苦父親已經(jīng)不想經(jīng)歷第二次。 然而他在許許多多年之后卻陷于這樣一種境況，他每天都想回家。</h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important;"></h3><p style="max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-indent: 2em; word-wrap: break-word !important;">——因?yàn)樗浟怂诩疫@一事實(shí)。</h3> <h3>對于老年癡呆的老人來說，<font color="#ed2308">理解與溝通，才是最有效的陪伴模式。</font></h3><h3><br></h3><h3>作為生命最后的一個(gè)階段，老年是一種文化形式，這形式一直變化著，人們必須一直跟著學(xué)習(xí)。如果到了父母不能再把其他什么教給孩子時(shí)，那么至少還有一點(diǎn)是他能教給我們的，那就是年老體衰和病痛。在好的前提下，這也意味著父母身份和子女身份。</h3><h3><br></h3><h3><br></h3><h3><font color="#167efb">“爸爸，</font></h3><h3><font color="#167efb">你一生里什么時(shí)候最幸福？”</font></h3><h3><font color="#167efb"><br></font></h3><h3><font color="#167efb">“孩子們還小的時(shí)候?！?lt;/font></h3><h3><font color="#167efb"> </font></h3><h3><font color="#167efb">“是說你和你的兄弟姐妹嗎？”</font></h3><h3><font color="#167efb"><br></font></h3><h3><font color="#167efb">“不，說的是我的孩子們?！?lt;/font></h3>
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